Visit to Zhuzhou

I don't even know where to begin.  It's been a really long, emotional, difficult, but, oh-so-important day.  I'm too tired to write much but will try.

We began our 1 hour drive to ZZ this morning around 8:30.  Nathan seemed fine about going, and was eager to bring a few small gifts to his foster family and friends at school.  We went to the orphanage first, where we were met by the vice-director again and also the woman, Ms. Liu,  who coordinates the foster care program that was started by CCAI (a large China adoption agency).  We have pictures of Nathan with this woman and she seems to know him well.  She also wrote all the wonderful foster care updates we were able to read while we waited for Nathan.

We learned that there are 280 kids under the care of the orphanage, but that about two-thirds of them are in foster care.  46 of the foster kids are in the CCAI sponsored program, the rest are funded by the orphanage.  Children with more severe special needs are generally kept in the orphanage.  We had requested to meet Nathan's former foster sister, Hai Yan, who goes to school at the orphanage, so we visited her class.  There were about 7 or 8 kids in the class, and it was an interesting mix of kids- Hai Yan and a couple of the other children had very minor special needs, a couple of the kids had Downs Syndrome, one was mildly autistic and delayed.  They were singing and dancing when we came in.  Tomorrow, if I can figure it out, I will post a video.  We then went outside with the class and some older developmentally delayed kids and took some pictures. 

Hai Yan, me, and a little girl with 'mild autism'

A little bit about Hai Yan.  We had been told that the foster family was in the process of adopting her (a very unusual event).  Once we got to China, we were told that they had 'given up' on adopting her, and in fact, she had been moved from their home late this summer to another family so she could attend the orphanage school.  Not sure of the details on this, but I do know her foster mother is very sad about it, and so is Hai Yan.  Her paperwork has been submitted to CCAA as of June 2010 and she is on the shared list.  Here is another pic of Hai Yan with Ms. Liu:

And with Amy:

Anyway, while we were meeting Hai Yan, the staff told her that we were Xu's American parents and that we wanted to find her an American mama and baba.  She told them that "No, I want THIS mama and baba!" meaning Marc and me.  Since that is highly unlikely barring divine intervention in multiple arenas, I am putting the word out here that one very cute, very spunky, very lively 7 year old girl needs a family.  She and Nathan were very close and had been raised in the same foster home for several years.  I would really like to see her find a family.

We also met a few children with Down's Syndrome.  I told the vice-director that there have been a few kids with Downs Syndrome from China that have been adopted.  She couldn't believe it.  I told her I would try to find out more information, but I know there are families who are led to do this, and I'd love any more information if anyone reading has any on how we could advocate for her kids if she submits their paperwork.

                                       The vice-director and a little one with Downs Syndrome

Visiting an orphanage is always an emotional experience for me (and I would think it would be for anybody.)  No matter how 'good' the orphanage is, it's still an orphanage, with little people who don't have a family of their own.  No matter how kind and attentive their caregivers (and at ZZ, they seemed very kind and attentive), it is no way, no how, any kind of substititute for a family.  I find it totally heartbreaking.

As we left the orphanage, Nathan gave his yo-yo away to an older, developmentally disabled guy who lives at the orphanage.  One thing I love about this kid is his generous spirit- he is always thinking of others when it comes to things and food.

We then drove to the place where Nathan was found when he was almost 9 months old.  Not much to say about it- the place isnt' the same as it was 9 years ago, with new construction.  9 years ago, it was sort of the dividing line between the city and the suburbs.

We then headed out to the countryside to visit the foster family.  That story will have to wait another day, as I need to get some sleep.  But here is a pic to hold you over:

Pics from yesterday

Here are a few pics from yesterday, if I can get them to upload...we have been experiencing technical difficulties.

Not quite Cedar Point, but still fun!

Moonbounce

Feeding the fish

Sharing the fish food

Our fabulous guide, Amy and me

Double sided embroidery

Pretty amazing, huh?  I can barely sew a button on a shirt.



OK, here's one photo to hold you over till tomorrow

This was taken with Nathan's not-so-hot-cheapie digital camera today. It quite accurately portrays life as we know it in China right now!

Marc's Musings #2

Ok...where to start...Oh, I guess I could start with Nathan...he is quite a handful as Joan mentioned in the last post.  We took him swimming after returning from the park and he either has no concept of the danger of water or has no fear.  It is obvious that he has never been in a pool before (the 1,279th new thing he has either done or seen in the last three days) as he proceeded to "take on water" if you know what I mean.  That did not seem to frighten him though as he did not want to get out of the water and wanted to ditch the round life preserver.  He often tried to mimic the swimmers in the pool and sank straight to the bottom, I would pull him up, and he would try again...and sink again.  He was shaking like a leaf and still didn't want to get out of the pool...I think we have found an activity for him during our remaining time in China.  The Purcellville lifeguards better be on the lookout when he enters the pool this summer!

I think I mentioned in the my last "Musing" that I missed my kids...well, I miss them even more...they all look so beautiful on Skype!  I have this unique thing that happens to me every time we adopt, and I have not heard this from any other adoptive father.  I call it Adoption Mourning - I actually mourn for my kids because I know that I will have less to give each kid after I adopt.  For our first three adoptions, Adoption Mourning occurred before leaving to adopt the new child.  This time it is happening NOW; during the adoption...???  Bottom line:  Can't wait to get home and see my kids!  BTW, They are in good hands thanks to Louise and Mary.

Lastly, I would like to mention that my #1 rated Oregon Ducks keep winning; 53-16 over arch rival Washington.  It is hard to believe that when I attended school there they never had a winning record (and, no, they were not bad because I was part the team) AND, in the last two weeks, my Cleveland Browns have beaten last years' Super Bowl Champion (New Orleans) and one of the favorites for this year (New England) which brings their record to 3-5.  Oh, almost forgot, the Brunswick High School girls cross country team finished 5th in the Ohio State Cross Country Championships.  Congrats to coach Kerry Hunter  (my brother!)

Sorry for the lack of pictures with these last two posts- we left the camera at the Embroidery Factory and won't get it till Thursday morning.  We will post pics after our trip to Zhuzhou.

Martyr's Park and Some Pretty Cool Embroidery

It's only 1:30 in the afternoon and we are done in!  Little Mr. Bundle of Energy worked his magic all morning long, starting at breakfast, where he had to be carried from the buffet back to our room until he was 'ready' to sit and eat.  He did get the message, thankfully, and managed to sit and eat breakfast.  We then headed off to Martyr's Park, which is a huge park with a memorial to the martyrs of the Revolution, an amusement park, a lake with boats, and probably some other things we missed.  You can imagine how interested our lively boy was in reading the plaques devoted to dead folks from long ago, so that part of our tour was cut short.  We then headed towards the amusement park, where he and I rode an airplane ride round and round, and then off to a super moon bounce which Nathan loved.  He bounced for so long he was sweating and wanted to take off his shirt!  He played with a toddler boy and helped him climb on the equipment; very sweet.  We then stopped to feed some fish.  Nathan shared his fish food with a little girl next to him.  Next we headed off to ride a boat around the lake.  Nathan saw that the boat man was about to launch without us, and he yelled at him to wait for us!  This kid is not shy, that is for sure.  After we finished our boat ride, we were heading out of the park, and we passed a bench where a young couple was sitting together, looking at the lake.  They were near some men who were fishing, which Nathan noticed.  But as we passed the young folks, he said very loudly, "They are not fishing, they are DATING!"  Which gave everyone a chuckle.  Well, after Amy translated for us.

As we walked through the park doing all these things, Nathan was quite a handful, despite Amy explaining to him that he needed to stay next to us. He would flop around as we held his hands.  He would just stop and squat on the ground.  He ran up to an older man who was doing some sort of martial arts and asked him if he could be his apprentice!  This was accompanied by some sort of folding of the hands which Nathan apparently did in a way that indicated he thought he was the BEST!  Number 1!  The man explained to Nathan that he should fold his hands a different way, to show humility, or something like that.  I'm not sure what I missed in the translation of this event!  But Amy said it was a good lesson.

After the park, we knew we were on borrowed time.  We also knew that a certain little Someone was not going to be interested in Hunan's famous double sided embroidery, and we were right.  We did the condensed version of the tour, hit the shop, and out the door.  Marc had to actually carry him through part of the museum because he was just not listening anymore.  The embroidery is just amazing- it looks the same on both sides of the fabric, and is very detailed and beautiful.  We saw a huge, intricate piece that cost $86,000!  That's US dollars, folks! Even the very small pieces were fairly expensive, so we won't be bringing any pieces to decorate our home!  Oh well.

We are back in the hotel room where Nathan does best.  We aren't sure what is going on with his behavior; there are so many possible explanations.   His whole world has been turned upside down.  We know he has never left the town he lived in before.  There are so many new things he is experiencing right now, and we are sure it is overwhelming to him.  And since I have been privy to many blogs and books about older kids' adoption experiences, I am not too concerned.  It would be much more difficult to be dealing with a violent child, or one who clearly had never formed any attachments to other people.  He is happy, he is social, he trusts us, he is generous and kind, but we have our work cut out for us.  We are really worried about how he is going to endure a 24 hour journey home, including a 14 hour flight with two connecting flights and accompanying layovers.  We would appreciate prayers for this. 

Tomorrow, we will travel to his home for the first 9 years of his life- Zhuzhou, about an hour's drive from  Changsha. We will visit his orphanage, his foster family, and his school.  Perhaps this will help us understand better what he is processing right now.

Adoption Day

Today was the day Nathan legally became a Hunter.  Amy met us at breakfast again, and then we headed off to Civil Affairs at 9 am to finalize things.  Here are some pics:

After leaving Civil Affairs, we headed over to the Walmart Super Center to do some shopping.  It was really hard to resist buying the dried suckling pigs for sale, but we didn't give in to the temptation.

Following Walmart, we came back to the hotel where Amy played a round of Uno with Nathan and me and explained the rules to him.  Then off to lunch again, where Amy ordered another delicious round of dishes.  Marc and I are so stuffed after every lunch we don't even want to eat dinner.

Things are going pretty well.  The biggest challenge is Nathan's activity level and not being able to communicate with him.  When we are in the hotel room, he is calm and able to focus on things like TV, or playing Uno, or playing with the DS or his remote control car.  But once we leave the room to go anywhere, he acts like a wild toddler- jumping around, flopping to the ground, crawling under the tables at restaurants, climbing on the furniture at Civil Affairs, etc. 

He is also incredibly thoughtful, always offering food to us, he accepts affection, and he is incredibly happy and smiles all the time.  He picks up things easily if they are shown to him, especially using the toys and things we brought.  He is good with his hands. He does not appear interested in anything academic, and as we suspected, is not reading at all in Chinese.  It seems he has already absorbed the message that he is not capable in these areas, so he is not interested.  I am hoping it will be better for him in the States, school-wise, and if  not, I guess I will be home schooling again!

On another note, our guide Amy is fantastic.  We just love her.  She is willing to spend a lot of time with us, is fun to be with, and loves to converse about many things.  She has taken us to lunch twice and we have had the BEST food with her.  She is good with Nathan too, and he likes her.  Having a good guide makes things so much better on an adoption trip.

Tomorrow, we head over to Martyr's Park where hopefully Nathan will burn off some energy, and then off to the embroidery factory to see the famous double-sided embroidery that apparently Hunan is famous for.  Who knew? 

Here are a few other random shots from the day:

Banana boy at breakfast

Marc doing his favorite thing in the world...shopping!  The man used to run 100 miles a week, but one circuit around Walmart and he is wiped out for the rest of the day.  I don't get it.

We have Nathan!

And it couldn't have gone any better!  I don't even know where to begin.   I had a mini-mental freak out this morning for the first time since we started the process to adopt Nathan.  You other adoptive parents know what I'm talking about, I'm sure.  For those of you not so enlightened, it's the "What in the world was I thinking?  What have we done?" moment.  Anyway, I was NERVOUS.  Amy, our guide showed up while we were having breakfast this morning.  We chatted about questions we wanted to ask the orphanage director and what we would do the rest of the day (if all went well, that is.)  Also at breakfast, we met two other families here to adopt babies, so it was great to make those connections as well.

We headed off to civil affairs around 9:40.  When we walked into the room, only one woman was there, the vice-director of Zhuzhou orphanage. Amy introduced us to her, and then another woman, the head of the foster care program in Zhuzhou, walked in with Nathan.  He was smiling and goofing around and not at all shy!  He knew instantly who we were.  Here are some photos:

We did some paperwork, and Marc entertained Nathan while I talked to the vice-director about our boy. We learned that  he left his foster parents just this morning, and that both of them were crying when he left.  This breaks my heart.  We made plans to visit Zhuzhou Thursday where we will visit the orphanage and then travel out to where his foster parents live.  We will get to visit his school as well.

In the car once we left, we asked Amy to ask if Nathan were scared.  He said he was not scared of us but that he was scared because his foster parents cried this morning.  He then pulled off his shoe, pulled out a folded up piece of paper with a letter from his foster family.  I am crying as I type this.  Here are a few lines from their letter:

How are you?  We are very glad that Xu will be adopted by your family.  Xu came to our family 6/29/04.  At that time he was 3 years old.  He has lived with us for 6 and a half years.  Through our good care to him he grows very happily and lovely.  Xu is very kind.  He is very generous and loved us very much.  He eats anything, he is not picky about food.  He is strong and very healthy and has never been sick.

We love him very much.  It is very lucky for him to be adopted by your family.  That is his blessing.  For Xu’s future we become relatives from different countries.  We wish Xu will grow up happily and become a useful person for the society.

What a gift to have their blessing on his adoption.

After doing even MORE paperwork in the hotel room, Amy took us out to lunch, and then off to the bookstore to look at some electronic translators.  We aren't sure we need one, so are going to see how it goes for the next day or so with him. 

Our new little man is pretty much exactly how we thought he would be. HE IS ONE BUSY KID!  He is very curious about everything.   He is quite small for his age.  I would say he is a little bit bigger than Grace, and very thin and wiry.  Nathan smiles quite a bit and does not have a shy bone in his body- he pretty much talked to everyone everywhere we went.  He is extremely active, jumping around, leaping down the stairs, etc.  I can only imagine what life is going to be like with him and Grace in the same house together!  He LOVES the remote control car I brought for him and also the DS and the digital camera.

Martha, if you are reading this, you would not believe how much he reminds me of Sam!

Here are a few more pics:

With the vice-director

At lunch, showing off his sketch of Mom

Back in the hotel. 

That's about all for now.  We are going to possibly hit the pool for a little while, but I already feel that jet-lag headache and fatigue setting in...hope we can stay awake!